The dreaded group shower. For many of us who are the oldest of Millennials — as well as GenXers, Baby Boomers, and previous generations — it was a marker of adolescent terror. After Physical Education classes, the thought of having to strip down and get clean in a same-sex shower room sent shivers across our teenaged spines.

Not everyone’s, of course. For example, student athletes would often become desensitized to communal nudity very quickly. Even us non-athletic kids could grow fond of undressing and showering in same-sex environments once we’d realized that some of our fears were irrational.

For me, initially, my greatest underlying fear had been that I would get physically assaulted by other boys when completely naked in front of them. Somewhat absurdly, I also was afraid my clothes might get stolen by classmates while I was showering.

As time passed, I began to relish the camaraderie that many of us boys shared while showering together after gym class. Part of this was perhaps due to my closeted homosexuality. But even if I’d been heterosexual or bisexual, I suspect I may have felt similarly.

My yearning for genuine friendships (impeded largely by my autism) converged with my passion for open sexual expression.

By the mid-1990s, public schools (including mine!) were regularly phasing out mandatory showers after Phy Ed. It depended on your individual school district, of course. But I believe there were two main reasons for this.

First, middle schools and high schools grew frightened that they would be subjected to an influx of ACLU lawsuits if they continued forcing students to strip naked in front of classmates. In addition, society’s increased awareness of LGBT+ folks generated even more fear, anxiety, and discomfort in many heteronormative kids (and their parents!) as far as using locker rooms.

Here are four considerations that many people fail to take into account when it comes to this issue:

Harmony

Throughout much of my youth, I was a convenient target. Being autistic, effeminate, and unathletic is like a triple threat for social outcasts. And, for other abused and traumatized schoolchildren, it could be a different combination of intersectional factors.

But, as I stated when reflecting upon one of the few physical fights I got into during my K-12 years: It’s a lot harder for boys to dehumanize one another when they have to stand next to their brethren completely naked after gym class on a daily basis.

Is it any coincidence there’s such intragroup male solidarity amongst members of sports teams or military units? Even amidst the prudishness and safetyism that have come to dominate Twenty-First Century institutions — student athletics and the armed forces are two venues where communal showering has remained a mainstay.

As with any of these areas, I‘m unable to speak to the experiences of girls and women. Somebody of the opposite sex can take the lead in exploring the distinct impact of this topic on all-female spaces.

Hygiene

This one is pretty clear-cut: Letting students take showers after sweat-inducting physical exertion is good for both their bodies and souls.

In middle school, my Seventh- and Eighth-Grade years coincided with the point in time when our school district stopped requiring showers after Phy Ed classes. During either of those academic years, my gym class fell during 1st Hour (8:15am-9:00am) or 4th Hour (10:45am-11:30am).

Spending the rest of the day perspiring in street clothing felt icky. Not to mention how teachers and classmates obviously didn’t appreciate the reeking of body odors when forced into classrooms with students who’d just emerged from their Physical Education sessions.

An added bonus: Communal (“gang-style”) showers are much easier for custodians to clean than individual shower stalls are. Just ask any janitor who has to clean up after people who leave behind messes in college dorm bathrooms or at fitness centers.

Hijinks

Where do you draw the line between sexual harassment and fraternal horseplay?

In an all-male locker room, there are grey areas. If a guy is causing unsolicited physical harm to another guy, that’s almost certainly going to fall into the categories of bullying, assault, or harassment. But, on other occasions, it becomes a spontaneous bonding experience between dudes.

Consensual play.

In a reflection piece I wrote about one of my K-12 peers, Tyler (whose overtures of friendship I now regret failing to have reciprocated), I distinctly recall one time when, in our Sixth-Grade locker room, I witnessed Tyler and our classmate Andy snapping towels at one another. Tyler was stark naked, while Andy had on only swim trunks. Both of them were getting a kick out of their impromptu towel fight.

I’ve never had a towel snapped at me; and, yes, I realize that it stings and leaves a temporary red mark. However, as long as it doesn’t result in a skin infection or harm my testicles, I feel this is a rite-of-passage amongst boys that I’m forlorn I missed out on enduring.

Other men and boys might have a completely different individual comfort level from mine, of course. That needs to be respected. But, for dudes, the locker room is one of the few sanctuaries where we can act like mischievous rascals in a socially-acceptable way.

Humans endure such frequent insecurity about our bodies. A combination of internal and external pressures creates this dynamic. Speaking from experience, it’s liberating to strut completely naked through a locker room on our way to go shower…or on our way back to get dressed.

As long as we define reasonable boundaries for preventing things from getting out of hand, I truly believe that boys can benefit when having this type of unifying island for our jovial fellowship.

Humility

Again, I can’t speak to girls’ experiences — or how those interactions evolve in situations where adult women utilize all-female spaces.

When boys get to see one another’s bodies au natural from childhood up through puberty and into adulthood — this helps to normalize a diversity of body types.

Comparing our penis sizes becomes a less intimidating experience. Similarly, whether a male person is circumcised or intact, the varying shapes and structures of penises won’t be viewed through such a foreign lens.

When you see that your good buddy is “different” from you — there won’t be this compulsion to shame others for those sorts of differences.

Although the male penis is perhaps the most provocative body part, observational exposure goes beyond phallic aesthetics. Buttocks, torsos, pectorals, arms, and legs come in all shapes and sizes. Ditto for the spectrum of eye colors, hair colors (and lengths), or skin colors.

Communal nudity between boys (and men) forces us to see one another as equals — in a context where we are equally exposed and equally vulnerable.

A multitude of factors may have an impact on body image and sexual expression. In addition to the standard human anatomy that people objectify and covet, many individuals can face unique challenges affecting their physical endurance and mental wellness.

Scars, cellulite, acne, prosthetics, surgical sutures…people of all backgrounds grapple with these stressors. In extreme cases, accommodations should be available for anyone who faces particularly intense self-consciousness.

Certain individuals will have a harder time managing our self-image — in my own case, it’s primarily due to my autism and my low income level.

Obviously, as opposed to twenty years ago, people now carry camera phones with them almost everywhere. Since that is a newer liability that didn’t exist in previous decades, kids (and adults) need to be taught that severe consequences will arise from photographing an unclothed person against their will.

There absolutely must be follow-through, so that such consequences won’t come to be viewed as a toothless threat.

Furthermore, in terms of pre-collegiate education, the well-being of students doesn’t begin or end with whether or not they have to shower in front of classmates. A much lengthier conversation should be had on how we must restructure the way Physical Education is done in America, altogether.

But, when people — including young people — are willing to shower (or are ambivalent about it) in communal spaces with access limited to people of the same sex…I don’t see why it’s unreasonable to provide that opportunity for them.